Baseball Caps

Well, I guess the time has come. The thought of writing this particular article has been haunting my otherwise pleasant dreams. They are usually about meeting Ray Romano, but lately they have been filled with dark storm clouds. I have yet to write a blog post filled with an intense amount of rage. For some of my more sensitive readers, I would suggest the sombrero article.

Baseball caps are not intrinsically evil, but they have become a strong soldier in Satan's army. Hats are supposed to be the sort of thing that has a small cult following. Baseball caps have become so popular in our society that everyone neglects the other hats that, quite frankly, have better designs. The baseball cap is recognizable for its small visor in the front. What a measly attempt to shade my alabaster skin! The conical straw hat or the sombrero would work much better.

You are in the Gobi Desert. You are the only survivor of a horrific plane crash, and you are quite parched. If only you had accepted the water from that flight attendant! But its too late for that. A magician appears in front of you. At first you regret taking acid all of those years ago, but in your desperation you say hello to him. He holds in his left hand a baseball cap. And in his right...the mighty conical straw hat.

It is no longer about being a sheep and loving the same hat as everyone else...It is life.

Or death.