Hatkin

The hatkin is the only reason I leave the comfort of my warm home during the winter months. Many idiots criticize the hatkin for their obviously incorrect opinion that it is not stylish. The hatkin would be one of the greatest ideas in history even if it were ugly. This hat's efficiency is what makes it fabulous. Did your mother ever tell you that you could be anything you wanted with some hard work? She was wrong. Let's examine the story of a man named Ted. Ted wanted to be an explorer in the arctic tundra. He went out into the subzero climate and he froze to death. I wasn't there with him so I must assume that he died because he was not wearing a hatkin. Without flaps of soft fabric covering your neck, you are wide open to the harsh storms that nature can and will throw at you. I would like to see Ted's determination and hard work save him from a blizzard. Let's take this stupid hypothetical scenario one ridiculous step further. Let us say that Ted has survived the Storm. All is well. The blizzard is over. All he must do is make it back to base. But what is this? Oh the humanity! Ted has found a Yeti. The Yeti is enraged and has dragged Ted into combat. The Yeti claws Ted in the neck. Alas, without the protection of the hatkin, Ted has lost his life. The hatkin may not be applicable in every scenario, but it is surely the ultimate winter cap.